Our Song

Life has felt very heavy lately. Utter devastation from a hurricane, people panicking because of  a port strike, rumors of war, people grieving, and so many with serious medical issues. Add to that an election year and it’s a recipe for anxiousness. I don’t generally struggle with anxiety but, as someone with the gift of empathy, I have wakened up early a number of days with a heavy heart and sick feeling in my stomach.

Benji called me recently to tell me a funny Arrow story. That kid is a trip so there is no shortage of funny Arrow stories, but this one hit different. Benji had been putting Arrow to bed and was singing him a song. He got a few lines in and Arrow told him to stop. Benji kept singing and Arrow again told him to stop. Benji asked him what was wrong and Arrow said, “That’s NayNay’s song!” Confused, Benji resumed singing only to be told again to stop because it was NayNay’s song. Benji realized it must be a song I sing to Arrow when I put him to bed and he didn’t want anyone else singing it. I’m sure it was probably annoying to Benji to have his singing interrupted over and over, but how happy it made my heart to hear that  Arrow knew “our” song.

Yesterday was one of those days that I woke with an angst in my soul. I went to church and began to engage in the worship time. These were the words we were singing to Him when I felt a peace creep across me…

Who else would die for our redemption?

Whose resurrection means I'll rise?

There isn't time enough to sing of all You've done

But I have eternity to try

With a thousand hallelujahs

We magnify Your name

You alone deserve the glory

The honor and the praise

Lord Jesus

This song is forever Yours

A thousand hallelujahs

And a thousand more

As I sang those words I remembered Zephaniah 3:17…

For the Lord your God is living among you.

    He is a mighty warrior.

He will take delight in you with gladness.

    With his love, he will calm all your fears.

    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

He reminded me of Benji’s encounter with Arrow and I instantly sensed an encouragement to keep singing “our” song because as I was singing to Him, He was singing it back to me. He was taking delight in me. He was calming my fears and He was rejoicing over me. It didn't change any of the circumstances that had my emotions churning, but it changed me and it calmed me. 

The battles we see raging around us are ultimately spiritual battles and He IS the mighty warrior in our midst. He CAN be trusted and, if you read the end of the story He DOES win so...                                    

just keep singing!!!!

True Identity

When I was growing up I loved baby dolls and Barbies. I loved to play with my baby dolls and envision myself as the Mama with all her little ones gathered close. I could pass many hours teaching and training them and just enjoying being near them. As I got older, I played with Barbies a lot. “Playing Barbies” usually consisted of “setting up house” and getting everything the way I wanted it so I could invite people (my friend’s Barbies) into my Barbie home and make them feel comfortable and welcome. I used an endless supply of cardboard boxes to expand my home and build custom furniture because I had a clear vision of what I wanted my home to look like so there would be a place for everyone.

When I wasn't playing, I passed some of my happiest hours reading and writing. I loved to read and my favorite reading spot was on a pretty quilt, in the soft grass under a poplar tree in our front yard. I wrote short stories (emphasis on short) on an old typewriter under that tree and as I got older I wrote lots of poetry as a way to express my thoughts and emotions in order to make make sense of things in my mind.

I was recently reading about David. You know, the little shepherd boy who later become the King of Israel. In His book, Living Fearless, Jamie Winship talks about how David, as a child, learned to watch sheep, write poetry and throw stones at enemies and, in that moment, I had one of the biggest “aha moments” of my life. When I was nurturing those babies and building that home, and when I was reading and writing and learning how to sort out my thoughts on paper, I was learning to live out who the Lord was calling me to be. He was leading me to my true identity as a “gentle nurturer”, “safe-place creator” and “proclaimer of hope”. 

Why? Because that was going to be how He used me in His Kingdom to draw others to Himself. And while all this is so amazing to ponder, it is also not lost on me that I now collect quilts and I come alive when my feet hit the grass and I see the trees because it’s often where I do my best thinking. He’s just good like that!!

Do you see His beautiful attention to detail?

Do you see His kindness in preparing me, as an unsuspecting young girl, for the woman He was calling me to be?

I’m so grateful for the journey He has me on to show me who I am, why I am here, and how He wants to use me in the exact way that He has hard-wired me from the very beginning and, of this thing I am very sure…He desires to do the same thing for you!!