Sleep...Oh Elusive Sleep!

I saw a sign yesterday that was so me...unfortunately!! It was this...

This is my life lately and it is driving me crazy. I am working on 4 totally new messages to share at 2 retreats, one in less than 2 weeks, and if I come to even the least little bit my brain is triggered and it's on. This morning it was 3 am...most days 4-4:30am. Unfortunately, I really do need more than 4-5 hours sleep!!

Well, off to work on my messages and pray that maybe tomorrow will be the day I sleep late...like maybe 6 or 6:30am!! ;O)

Shame

I am teaching at 2 retreats this fall and one of the sessions is on shame. Thankfully I guess, shame is not an issue I have had to deal with a lot so it is the one I am least familiar with. In preparation for the retreat I have been reading the book, Shame Lifter, by Marilyn Hontz.

Wow!! I just cannot say enough good about this book! My copy is all highlighted and dog-earred and has given me so much food for thought that sleep has been somewhat illusive these days. I am so thankful that I felt impressed to choose this book out of all the ones I looked at on Amazon during my search for resource material!

If this is an area you struggle with, I highly recommend you check it out!!

Omission

Wow! I decided to Google a verse this morning because I couldn't remember exactly where it was found. I knew it was Titus 2, but I wanted to be sure of the actual verse numbers. As I glanced at one of the sites that came up in my search, I was shocked and thought surely my eyes were just not focusing that well so early in the morning. I clicked the site to read more and was definitely appalled at what I found.

Apparently there are certain verses in the Bible that the Irish Catholic church doesn't like because they feel they subordinate women and they are discussing just taking them out so as not to "give an undesirably negative impression regarding women." Seriously? You know, verses like that one in Titus 2 that encourage us to love and care for our own families and mind our own business so that the Word of God is not dishonoured. Scandalous, wouldn't you say?

Well, while we're eliminating verses we don't like, I am not really big on that verse that says I am to love and bless those who persecute me. I wouldn't mind it just disappearing. And what about pretty much the whole book of James because it would be a whole lot easier to just run my mouth about someone when they get under my skin rather than have to actually control my tongue and be silent on the matter. I'd also probably change up the Beatitudes a little because those seem very counter-intuitive to how things should play out in real life and I might even just put a big ole red mark through "wives submit to your husbands as unto the Lord" because that seems a tad archaic. I mean, if I can't be comfortable reading the Bible and really enjoy what I read then what's the point?

Is anyone else seeing how truly dangerous a mindset like this is? Tim has talked a lot about the danger of "a la carting" scripture, but this is actually just throwing the whole doggone dinner out the window because it might give you a tummy ache. How dare we choose which verses are important and which ones should be eliminated based on how they make us feel.

2 Timothy 3:15-17 in The Message says ~

There's nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.

I guess we'll have to rip that page out, too, in order to feel good about skipping these other ones! Before long there won't be much left other than something akin to a book about a cosmic Santa who just showers us with goodies because, with no standard to live up to, we all look like good little boys and girls!

Lord, May I never get to the point in my life that I would rather eliminate or ignore portions of scripture that make me uncomfortable or take me out of my comfort zone rather than deal with the Truth of what they say. Would I see each scripture as having great value in my own life and the lives of others. As a teacher, would you make me mute if I ever dare try and distort scripture into a feel-good message that doesn't stand the potential of offending anyone. And, Lord, please forgive those who are choosing to cheapen what Your Son did on the cross to make them feel better about themselves!

40 Days Without Food

I just read a great ebook, called 40 Days Without Food: Divine Goodness For a Starving Soul. It is by a friend of ours and I was so pleasantly surprised by Russ' literary style and the raw way in which he shared. I realize that could sound like I didn't think Russ had what it takes, but that is not it at all. I just have never had the pleasure of reading anything he wrote and wasn't sure what to expect!

One quote that really stood out to me was when he said (in a slightly paraphrased kind of way) that "the fear of mediocrity often drove him while the fear of failure often held him back". This thought has stuck with me as I have pondered how true this has been in my life at times and the lives of some I know.

As someone who writes and speaks, there is always a tension between not wanting to bore people to death while at the same time remembering the truth found in Galatians 1:10 that what we do we do ultimately for an audience of One! We cannot get caught up in doing anything in order to receive worth and affirmation in an attempt to "be somebody". That is a need that only the Lord can fill in our lives and it is always dangerous to try and fill it in other ways.

Interestingly enough, though, the fear of failure can often be a powerful deterrent to stepping out of our comfort zone and obeying that still small Voice. It, again, can be a case of worrying too much about what others might think if we did actually fall flat on our faces. That would be a highly unlikely scenario, but the fear of it can be paralyzing.

My earnest prayer right now and, I pray, for my remaining days on earth is the truth found in Proverbs 16:9 ~

We plan the way we want to live,

but only God makes us able to live it.

Lord, may I never find myself straining ahead of You trying to make a name for myself to avoid just being an average somebody. May I similarly never find myself refusing to step out of my comfort zone and do what I feel You are encouraging me to do because I fear I may be unsuccessful!

Fear of mediocrity and fear of failure are terrible motivators to attempt anything of lasting value!!

Today is my anniversary...one month since the last time I wrote on my blog. I am not sure why it took so long. At first I was busy with Tim out of town and packing to go on vacation. Then we were out of town, but once we came back it was like I had a mental block. Whenever I log onto the internet it takes me to my blog. Every day, multiple times, there it was...daring me to come up with something to write. I would have lots of thoughts and think I needed to write them down, but then I would get here and it seemed impossible.

Not sure why I chose today to start writing again. I guess anniversaries are good for new beginnings. At any rate, I hope I am back with lots more to say now. If you are someone who checks in a lot, please forgive me for my lack of producing anything to check in for. I think I just might feel the creative juices flowing! ;O)

Happy Wednesday!!!