Another Mama...

I wrote this poem in 1995 after the birth of our second child. We were driving home from a vacation and he was asleep in his car seat. As I gazed at him, these words bubbled to the surface...

I stared at you the other night
As so peacefully you slept,
With thoughts of another mama
And the tears she must have wept.

Her newborn babe she held so close
As she whispered in His ear,
"You are this promised Jesus,"
And she wiped away a tear.

She watched Him grow in wisdom,
Found Him teaching those that taught,
She heard He fed five thousand,
As He healed all those that sought.

And all the while she waited,
For she sensed with a mother's heart
That sooner than she'd ever want
He must fulfill His part.

So it came to pass that final day
That she watched, as pain engulfed her,
For there He hung, her little boy,
Who had now become her Saviour.

Thankful...

It's that time of year when our hearts and our minds are turned toward all we have to be thankful for yet again. To say that my heart is overflowing with thankfulness is an understatement. I truly feel (most days anyway ;O) ) that I am living my ultimate dream.

I have a husband who, not only do I love, but I really like! Love is defined as a choice,but like is really something you either do or you don't. I DO!!! With so many marriages imploding around us, this is probably my most thankful thing. The fact that our children get to grow up with a mama and a daddy who truly enjoy each other is not something we take for granted.

My kids bring me so much joy that I can hardly stand it sometimes. To see the young men and women that they are becoming thrills my heart. To see the big ones growing in character because of their perseverence is a blessing to this Mama's heart. To see the younger ones learning to read and spell and excel in all things school related makes the daily grind worth every minute!

The friendships we have been blessed with are a treasure to my heart. I hear so many women say that they just don't have many friends and don't feel like they really click with too many people. I find myself sometimes wondering how I can maintain all the friends the Lord has blessed us with!

For the opportunities the Lord has given me to write and speak this year...I find myself forever grateful. The latter has been a slow progression, but the more I rely on Him and His ability to speak through me and less on my natural inclination to head for the hills, the more freed up I get in what I feel He really has called me to do!

For finances and daily provision...for health and joy! My heart is full and I am exceedingly thankful!

Surprised Myself!

You know those times you do something and you really surprise yourself? Pleasantly surprise yourself? I have had those times and they sure are fun. Unfortunately I had an experience last week that surprised me about myself, but it wasn't so great! *insert sheepish grin*

Have you ever seen one of these?



It's a roof rat and I woke up to one in the early morning hours last Thursday. Waking up to a roof rat in your bedroom that is so big it is scratching at the door to get out like a cat is not a way I recommend! Fortunately I had the presence of mind to turn on the light before I put my feet down on the floor and I saw it turn and run into the bathroom! I crept out of bed and over to the bathroom door which I quickly slammed shut and put a pillow in front of. I am not quite sure what I thought the pillow would do, but it made me feel better!

I then called Tim, who had already left for Bible study, and shrieked into the phone that there was a rat in the bathroom. We knew we had rats. We just thought they were contained in the basement. Silly us! Being quite a few miles from home, Tim called our friend, Dustin, who was meeting with our other friend, Ronnie. Not too many minutes later, Dustin and Ronnie showed up at the door at 6am, hockey sticks perched on their shoulders!

I'd like to say they came in, found the rat, killed it and left...all before my first cup of coffee! (A girl should not have to deal with stuff like this before a morning cup of coffee!) That was not how the story was to unfold, though. They did manage to get the rat out of my closet (*insert frantic face at the thought of a rat amongst my clothes*) and closed off the closet and toilet area. They put a trap in the bathroom and Dustin promised he'd be back later if the rat was still around.

Seeing my knights with shining hockey sticks leave was not a good feeling! I did what any smart-thinking girl who has a rat in her bathroom would do, though...I duct-taped the bottom of the bathroom door to eliminate any possibility of it slipping out. And thus began a very long day of listening to rat sounds on the other side of the wall!

Shortly after Tim got home, Dustin arrived with several shotguns slung around his neck! Just playing, of course, he declared he was really going to use his "fist" to kill the rat! Fist? Are you kidding me? Makes me shiver to think of it again!

So Dustin-the-Brave and Tim-the-not-so-Brave (he helped from the safety of the bathtub ;O) ) entered the bathroom with a mission on their mind. At various points it sounded like ultimate fighting was taking place in the bathroom. There was shouting and banging and the rattling of coat hangers designed to fish the rat out from its hiding place under the cabinet. Eventually it did, in deed, emerge from its hiding place and attempted to launch itself into the tub. (Wish I could have seen Tim's face then!) A chase ensued and the rat was pinned in the corner!

At long last there was a shout and a very vocal declaration of victory coupled with much jumping up and down! Dustin emerged from the bathroom to pronounce the rat had met an untimely demise at the bottom of his fist! Yes, true to his word, Dustin had punched the rat to death! I still am not exactly sure why he chose that means of eliminating the rat, but I must say it was rather effective. Wanna see?



Now the whole purpose of this post was really to talk about the dilemma I now find myself in! One of the guys at Bible study told Tim he was surprised I was freaking out so much because he thought I was tough! I must admit I have to agree with him. I surprised myself, too, with the depth of my panic and fear upon finding this rat in my room!

While I am thankful this rat and the 4 others we have trapped in the basement are gone, I feel like I may need therapy to get over this one! *insert face twisted in shame* I truly have been traumatized by this experience and have continued to feel the effects. As someone who has always walked around the house in the dark at night, I now find myself with a flashlight on my bedside table. I am accutely aware of every sound going on around me and I may never again, at least until the memory is not so firmly ingrained in my mind's eye, simply get out of bed without counting the potential cost.

So I am here to declare...I am not as tough as we all thought. I can birth a huge baby standing up in my bathroom, but I have a very real and somewhat irrational fear of rats!

Been a While...

It's been a while since I have posted and I am not sure why. Fatigue, stress, jumbled thoughts or writer's block...any and all of them could be the culprit.

I am not a person who struggles with stress as a general rule, but there have been a number of things that have been weighing on me lately. Rachel has had some major difficulties she has encountered at school in the form of bullying and it has been a burden to my Mama's heart.

I have a number of speaking engagements coming up the next few months and that has me a tad wound up. The biggie is the Midwest Homeschool Convention next April and I am wondering what in the world I was thinking when I said yes to that one. My formerly dear friend ;O) , Amanda, is the one who convinced me I should do it and that I was more than able and qualified! Hmph! Fortunately she'll be there to hold my hand when the time comes. I normally start dreading tax season around about Jan 1st, but this speaking engagement may make me welcome the mundaneness of doing the taxes this year! LOL!!

I share all this to let you know that I am here and I am learning, yet again, to rely on the Lord and encourage my thoughts to dwell on Him and not what I see going on around me!

Isaiah 55:8-9 (MsgB)
"I don't think the way you think.
The way you work isn't the way I work."
God's Decree.
"For as the sky soars high above earth,
so the way I work surpasses the way you work,
and the way I think is beyond the way you think.

Psalm 139:23 (NASB)
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

Philip. 4:8-9 (MsgB)
Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Join me in meditating on these verses that remind us that He is the only One who can direct our thoughts, change our perspective and allow peace to wash over us!

Thank you, Papa, for your Word that gives perspective and insight into where we should allow our thoughts to wander and how we can choose the thoughts we allow our mind to dwell on. Please keep me from getting mired in my circumstances and what I can see and remind me that "there's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2Cor 4:18